Sanders Party of Five

“What do you think about divorce and remarriage? Is this a good thing or not?” 

This was the start of a conversation about divorce and polygamy in the Papua New Guinea church. This young pastor, Abel, wanted to stori about how to handle situations like this in his church. I am grossly under qualified to give direction in how this national pastor shepherds his flock, but I can lead him to scripture.

He knew that there was a passage in the New Testament that discussed this but couldn’t remember the exact location. We looked in a few places and found the particular place he was thinking about in Matthew 19. Here Jesus is confronted with a question from the Pharisees.

“Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?” Jesus urges the Pharisees to think back on the scriptures, to think back to the garden where two became one. He wants them to realize that when a man marries a woman they become one. No one should break that bond apart.

But what happens when the bond is broken? What happens when they remarry and adultery is the result of that marriage? How is that handled in the life of the church? Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing?

“Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?”

The Pharisees are trying to entangle Jesus. But Jesus cuts through the issue to their hearts.

“Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.”

The Israelites displayed the hardness of their hearts in the wilderness rebellion. An entire generation was denied the rest of the Promised Land because of their hardness of hearts. And so Moses permitted divorce because of the hardness of their hearts. And here Jesus permits divorce, a breaking of the God ordained bond.

The question becomes, is this a model for us to follow, or is something else going on here? Is Jesus’ “exception clause” a carte blanche ticket to send your wife away in cases of unfaithfulness? When we look at the work of Christ do we see this modeled in his life and work?

As Abel and I contemplated these questions we looked at the story of Hosea.

Hosea was a man of Israel who God called to marry a whore. This woman bore him three children, Jezreel, No Mercy, and Not My People. And then she was unfaithful. Not just once, but entered back into her life of prostitution. She pursued her lovers and brought judgement on her children. This drastic picture of unfaithfulness was the story of Israel. Israel had played the whore. Israel pursued the Baals. She lavished the grain and wine and oil that her husband had given her upon the idols of the land.

Lest we think this is just the story of Israel, Peter shows us that we were like the wife and children of Hosea (1 Peter 2:9-10). We were those who were Not My People. We were those who had No Mercy.

Did Jesus leave us in that state? Did he reject us?

God directed Hosea to buy back his wife. And so, for fifteen pieces of silver, five bushels of barley, and a measure of wine he bought back the whore from her lover. She would be his and his alone.

And so it was with us. Jesus bought us back. Only it wasn’t with money and barley and wine of the land, but with his body and blood. He bought us back out of our whoredom to be his bride. Now we are God’s people. Now we have received mercy.

So as we contemplate the practical application of Jesus’ words in Matthew 19 will we be like those Israelites with hard hearts and send those who are unfaithful away? Or will we be able to show them the mercy and grace that we ourselves have received?

This can be extended to the life of the church as well, will we be merciful and gracious to those who have broken one marriage and started another? In our Papua New Guinean context, will we be merciful to those who have more than one wife? Will we welcome with open arms those who have been unfaithful and desire to return to Him?

The disciples realized the weight of Jesus’ words when they said that it was better not to marry at all. They knew the state of their own hearts. They knew that in the face of infidelity they would want to send their wife away. Jesus replies that, “Not everyone can accept this statement, only those whom God helps.”

May God help us and change our hearts to be more like Jesus.